Flow with Fatima

I sat staring at a blank page in Microsoft Word, tears streaming down my face for hours. Olivia Rodrigo's "All I Want" played on repeat through my headphones, intensifying the overwhelming emotions that consumed me. Some days, words simply fail to express what I'm feeling; I'm simply left to feel it all. As I tackled the office reports, it struck me that today was the 12th of March. Years ago, this week would have been filled with bustling plans and celebrations. Have you ever experienced that feeling when a date you've commemorated for years suddenly loses its significance? There might not have been anything to mark today, but amidst the absence of a once-cherished tradition, I realized that even the absence of something is still worth celebrating. Sometimes a man gets exactly what he wishes for, and that can be the most perfect punishment of all.  - Joe Goldberg, You I looked around me. I am living a life I used to only dream about. A few years back, the i

Some familiar feelings leave you addicted to them. Sometimes, all you need is a conversation, a phrase, and it transports you back to wanting to curl yourself back in bed. I physically hurt myself when the pain of spoken words becomes unbearable to carry. I came from parents who left me to figure out my potential, leaving me alone to grow roots so deep that I could fend for myself. I didn’t win the lottery of the womb; worse, I was dealt bad cards, which left me without a choice to play. Today, I feel like physically hurting myself. A punch in the face, bumping my head on the wall, or pinching myself so hard that you'd see the shadow of my nails that will wear off too. I feel like an elephant's feet have stomped on my heart again, which makes me want to grab a knife and just free myself from this pain. In my tiny bubble where I found solace in the presence of nobody, technology has been both a friend and a foe. And today, she was the latter. My nemesis did it again. In her inno