A Valentine’s Day for One

Rain started pouring the moment the sun dipped below the horizon. The first line of Let It Snow came to mind: Oh, the weather outside is frightful. Fitting, I suppose—after all, it’s Valentine’s Day.

I’ve never been one to celebrate this day. Deep down, I know it’s just a ploy to sell flowers, chocolates, and cakes. But if nothing else, it gives my sweet tooth a reason to indulge. So, I treated myself—a small cake with a note that read, I love myself—along with some brownies and a strawberry cheesecake. Living in the province makes these indulgences hard to come by, but on holidays like this, sellers pop up, offering free deliveries. A rare convenience, and one I wasn’t about to pass up.

I turned the AC on. The weather couldn’t decide between hot and cold, and honestly, neither could I. A little more indulgence—some extra loving—felt necessary. Instinctively, I put on some music. The first song that came to mind? Jeff Buckley’s I Know It’s Over. Who wouldn’t sing along to the line: And if you're so very good-looking, why do you sleep alone tonight?

I’m not sure if I’m sad about being alone. It’s a mix of emotions, really. Days like this pull me back to all the Valentine’s Days that have passed. I struggled to recall them, but nothing really stands out.

Maybe that’s why I got myself something today—to finally have a good Valentine’s memory. You know it’s game over when you become your own greatest lover, but then again, the bar was never set that high to begin with.

It’s winter season, even if it doesn’t snow in my part of the world. Maybe the extra weight is just my body’s way of keeping me warm.

In the long string of maybes running through my mind, I know I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’ll gain and lose the weight, the night will end, and the sun will rise again. And me? I should continue loving myself—inch by inch, even on the days it feels like a struggle. Because no matter what, my love for myself should remain undefeated.