Sunset and Quests

Today's one of those days when I have to trick myself into accomplishing my daily quests. Just wash five items from the kitchen sink. Just fold five pieces of clothing. It's not going to take a lot of time to feed the dogs. Fine, you don't have to mop.

I feel the weight of my boobs, and I have to wear a bra today.

I only have two days left to go out and date myself—a weekly activity from the book The Artist's Way. But where will I go? What will I do? Like any sane person who lives alone and doesn't talk to anybody, I consulted ChatGPT for self-date ideas. I really don't have the energy to go out, and one of its recommendations was to go on a movie date. Why not? I haven't watched a movie in a long time, so it counts as doing something new for myself.

I was recommended Julie & Julia, which made me both cry and feel inspired. I was 45 minutes in when I stopped the film to catch the sunset. The horizon was ablaze with gold, fading into soft blushes of orange and pink, as if the day was bidding its most glorious farewell. The sunlight danced on the gentle waves, leaving streaks of fire across the water. The sound of the waves lapping against the shore was soothing, like a quiet symphony playing just for me.

Standing there, I felt the world shrink and expand simultaneously—a fleeting moment that made everything else feel small yet meaningful. As the sun sank lower, casting a warm glow over the beach, I noticed the girl from a few days ago. She was with her friends, laughing, unaware that I was watching her in the fading light. She was with two of her friends, singing her happy birthday, a smile flashing on her face as bright as the setting sun. I asked if it was her birthday, and she said yes, with a smile. "Tomorrow," she added. I checked the date on my phone: December 7th. An intelligent Sagittarius girl.

I now understand why I’m drawn to her, why she can pick up stones and be in her own little world, unbothered by the noise around her. There’s something captivating about how she is fully present in that moment, finding meaning in something so simple, like picking up a stone from the beach. It reminds me of the parts of myself I sometimes forget—the ability to just be, without needing to overthink or chase after anything. Perhaps she doesn’t realize yet that the world ahead of her is so much brighter than she can imagine, but there’s magic in her innocence. She’s at that perfect age where the boundaries between fantasy and reality feel softer, where everything feels like it could be an adventure.

She has a great story to tell when she grows up—stories of wonder and discovery, of joy found in the simplest moments. But in this moment, I hope she remains a kid for a little longer, holding on to that ability to find beauty in the small things, before the world asks her to grow up too quickly.

I went back to my apartment, ready to finish watching Julie & Julia, but her smile stayed with me. It felt like the kind of moment that lingers long after it has passed. All the clothes are now neatly folded, and there are only six items left in the sink.